namby pamby
by xporcelain
Summary: No, Natsu, you can't ask Gray to be "Erect" with you and expect nobody to say anything. What moron decided giving Natsu a dictionary was a good idea?


**title: **namby pamby  
><strong>summary:<strong> No, Natsu, you can't ask Gray to be "Erect" with you and expect nobody to say anything. What moron decided giving Natsu a dictionary was a good idea?  
><strong>disclaimer: <strong>Fairy Tail © Hiro Mashima

**dedication:** to these very odd people that give me confusing prompts. and Katy Perry. coz she's on the radio.  
><strong>notes: <strong>i have learned, that when you ask for prompts, not to expect simple things. because that doesn't happen. no. instead, you get words like lackadaisical.  
><strong>notes2:<strong> you may need google for this one. i know i did.

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><p>n a m b y<br>**— _pamby_**

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><p><strong>:<strong>

**:**

It was a beautiful day in the city of Magnolia.

The sun streamed down, lightly warming the town, with a cool breeze to keep the temperature moderate. Bird's chirped happily, children squealed and ran through the parks, and one particular, beautiful blonde-

Oh dear.

Said beautiful blonde was smacking her head off one of Fairy Tail's tables.

"You," Smack, "Did," Smack, "_What_?"

"Lu-chan, stop doing that! You're going to destroy all you're brain cells!" Levy cried, jumping forward and catching the blonde's head before it made contact with the wood again, "If you're brain cells are gone, how can you finish your book!"

Lucy groaned, nursing her now sore head. Damnit, she had a point! But...

"Why, Levy?" She groaned again, "Why would you get Natsu a _dictionary_?"

Levy frowned, crossing her arms. "I don't really see the big deal. You're always complaining he needs a bigger vocabulary, right?"

"So you got him a dictionary?"

"Logical explanation."

Lucy almost groaned again, but contained it. Instead, she sighed. "I guess so, but what if he starts using words like _daedal_ or _klaxon_?"

Levy's face twisted in confusion. "Why would he ever use those words?"

"I don't know!" Lucy cried, "Just because they sound weird!"

"Now, now..."

While Levy was consoling a panicky Lucy, none of them noticed the Guild's doors swing open (rather dramatically.) Nor did they notice the figure walking in, face hidden by a large book.

Over at the bar, Gray was getting over the shock of losing his clothes... again.

"I just don't understand how this happens!"

"Yes, Gray, we know." Mirjane said in her usual light tone, barely paying attention to the ice mage.

"Bu-"

"Oi, droopy eyes!"

Gray turned, looking over at Natsu, who's face was still in the book.

"What, slanty eyes?" He oh so smartly shot back.

"Stop being so lacka-dais-i-cal!"

Gray glared, opened his mouth to respond, then paused. Natsu removed the book from his face, grin in place.

He just stared. And then, "... What?"

"You heard me!" Natsu retorted. He himself paused for a moment, quickly looking back down to the book. "Did I get it wrong... Nope, there it is! Lackadaisical!"

Gray continued to stare. "Did you just can an insult from a dictionary?"

"Wouldn't _you_ like to know!" Before he could respond, Natsu was gone.

Eyes darting around the guild, the dragon slayer spotted Lucy and Levy, grinning and running over. "Hey, Lucy!" He greeted, oblivious to the wary look on her face. "You're looking..." He flipped through the dictionary once more, eyes squinting. Finally, he looked back up, still grinning.

"Very voluptuous, today!"

Lucy's response was the same as Gray's: lots and lots of staring. Beside her, Levy was slowly inching away.

Natsu's grin never faltered.

"Voluptuous?" The blonde repeated at last, one eyebrow slowly raising.

Natsu nodded. "Yeah, it means-"

"I know what it means!" Lucy shrieked suddenly, causing Natsu- and everyone in earshot -to jump. "And I'd really prefer if you didn't describe people with such- _big_ -words!"

Natsu blinked. "Why!"

"Because you and big words don't mix!"

"But Levy says I need to-" He paused to flip through the book once more, "-redeem myself for my-" He searched again, "-abominable vocabulary."

"Oh..." Lucy then proceeded to say a chorus of large words that had Natsu flipping through his dictionary like a mad man. By the end, almost the entire guild was staring at them, and Natsu had a killer headache.

"Jeez, Luce," He whined, "No need to be such a harpy."

The guild hall was suddenly deathly silent. Once again, Lucy stared. Because, honestly, that's all she needed to do. Because Lucy's stares were becoming more and more un-nerving with each passing day.

(Everyone suspects she's getting lessons from Erza.)

At last, she spoke, in a scarily calm tone, "Natsu, please come with me, we need to speak_ in private_."

Quickly, Natsu once again flipped through the book, before looking up once again with confusion in his features.

"A tête-à-tête?"

A vein in her forehead throbbed. "NO, IDIOT!"

"Ah.. Touche."

"YOU'RE NOT EVEN USING THE WORDS RIGHT!"

In the end, Lucy had to drag Natsu out of the guild house-

"Lucy, I'm to amorous for this!"

-and forced him to burn his own _blasted dictionary_.

(And, as a safety procaution, Levy spent the next week hiding behind Gajeel everytime she saw the blonde.)

**:**

**:**

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><p><strong>notes3:<strong> AHAHAHA~ in which Levy is innocent, Lucy is melodramatic, and Natsu is.. Natsu! A Natsu who uses words wrong and is over the top when he wants to be normal and uses words that are suppossed to be really insulting but in reality are just... meh.  
><strong>notes4: <strong>HAPPY WHO IS THIS HAPPY YOU SPEAK OF I'VE NEVER HEARD OF HIM.  
><strong>notes5:<strong> i think i completely avoided the point of the prompts. WHOOPS.


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